Books I've Forgotten to Read

The statement every English major will inevitably encounter:

You must have read [insert so-called classic here]!

Well, I hate to disappoint you folks, but there is a good chance that I have never read that one for two reasons:

1. Let's do the math. Even though I have a degree in it, my schooling still stopped at 22 (so far). So let's say I read 10 required books per year in middle school and high school. Add to that those I've read in college. I probably took an average of two English classes a semester, averaging about 7 books per class. That's 112. Plus 40 is 152, and I have a feeling that's a generous number. Regardless, there are hundreds upon hundreds of classics I have yet to have the pleasure of enjoying.

2. And now for that word classic. Some classics are undisputed: Shakespeare's works, Paradise Lost, The Divine Comedy, and so on. But as you get to later time periods, you encounter more and more discord among the (intellectual) masses. Besides, English profs love to make an academic name for themselves by developing some theory on some completely unknown author. They then proceed to teach this author to students, thinking they are teaching something new when half of the time students haven't encountered the old.

That being said, I put together a little list of books I probably should have read (and probably should get around to reading):

- 1984, George Orwell
- Wuthering Heights, Emily Bronte
- Catcher in the Rye, J. D. Salinger
- Absalom, Absalom!, William Faulkner
- For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemingway
- The Grapes of Wrath, John Steinbeck
- Brave New World, Aldous Huxley
- Ulysses, James Joyce
- Sula, Toni Morrison
- Moby Dick, Herman Melville
- Cat's Cradle, Kurt Vonnegut

Top 5 Books of My Most Awkward Years (aka Middle School)

I'll be honest. Sometimes I just don't have time to read 5 books a week. So in lieu of a review (yup, that's poetry right there), I decided to spice it up with a little list of books that I just so happened to love in the middle school era.


1. The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas
If you have yet to read this little masterpiece by Dumas, I suggest you run to the book store immediately. Its combination of affairs, murders, and the revenge it incurs makes it a 19th century France soap opera. I have no idea why my conservative evangelical school let us read it but I'm not complaining.



2. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
Yet another book of contention. But after reading it, you know why there's such a buzz around it. And you can even almost understand Demi Moore naming her daughter after the main character, Scout. A deftly told tale that's not only about race but about humanity, it must find a place on everyone's book shelf.


3. The Pearl by John Steinbeck
This is a deceptively small novella that ends up packing an unbelievable punch of morality. Kino starts out trying to save his son and ends up greedy and disappointed. Steinbeck skillfully wrote a fable that is probably more applicable to someone with a couple decades under their belt than someone who is 12.


4. "The Raven" by Edgar Allen Poe
Well this wasn't exactly assigned reading and it isn't technically a book... but when each student in the entire student body had to declaim a different 5 minute piece of literature I immediately went to this one on the recommendation of my mother. I think that my classmates suspected me of being a bit goth, but oh well, I'll just keep on quoting nevermore.


5. The Aeneid by Virgil
I can honestly remember staring at the cover of this book in 7th grade with not a clue about how to go about pronouncing "Aeneid." I have a feeling it came out "a-EHN-id." But pronunciation aside, this ancient (literally) text proved to be enthralling even when taught by my sort of ancient (figuratively) 7th grade teacher. Ever since I cannot help but have a soft spot for my girl Dido.